To say this year has been rough would be a complete understatement. I really did lose myself in all of the chaos. I stared down the barrel of an impending divorce, bombed out on multiple competitions, and my dog, Zeus, was taken from me. Pretty much the things I cared about turned out to be a shit show. It wasn’t all bad though. I landed my dream job, and made great friends/reconnect with some old ones.
Let’s be real though, I really did lose a part of myself because I threw a fucking pity party I never needed. What I really needed was to find myself again. Earlier this year, I said I was quitting weightlifting. Damn, that was a huge mistake. Looking back, I willingly gave up a part of myself even more by doing that. For what? The hopes of saving something that was going to end anyways? The real question was, how much of myself was I willing to give up to save this? Unfortunately the answer was: all of me.
As I’m writing this, it all seemed so long ago yet everything still feels so fresh. I woke up one day and realized that I was okay. Some battles are won and some battles are lost, It’s just how it goes. I was fighting to win one battle that I forgot the most important aspect in my life: happiness.
As the year comes to a close, I’m not going to do that ‘New year, new me’ bullshit, rather I just want to find myself again.
I’m the type of person that always has a plan or a goal, but lately I’ve been struggling to find a purpose. It’s always been hard for me to wander without a goal in mind. There was always a means to an end. (more…)
This weekend was quite eventful. It felt longer than it actually was, yet at the same time it feels like it went by way too fast. At the end of it all, a quote from Harry Potter kept coming to mind: (more…)
Now I’m not a big fan of hiking, however it’s part of my whole “trying new things” idea so I decided to go. A few friends and I went hiking to Lawson Peak in Jamul California and damn I had fun. Not only was the view beautiful, but climbing up a mountain brought me some sort of newfound energy and excitement. If many of you didn’t know I am a Buddhist, so here one from Buddha: (more…)
It’s no secret that I have a profound love for the classics, but one stands out: The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. I first read this book in 6th grade, despite my dislike of reading at the time, and it has become my one of favorite books. The reason I enjoy this book so much is due to its themes of love, revenge, friendship, and, the most important of all, self-transformation. Although a long read, I recommend it to everyone. Here’s another excerpt: (more…)
Since the incident (if you don’t know what I’m talking about click here), I am going through a period of self reflection and rediscovery. Lately I’ve been getting up earlier than I should be to read. Here is an excerpt from one of the books I’m currently reading: (more…)